AN AMATEUR CYNIC ASKS, "WHITHER CHARLIE SHEEN?"

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KRUGMAN'S COLUMN TODAY ON BOND RATING AGENCIES

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An old joke: an accountant is asked, “how much do one and one make?” He answers, “how much do you want them to be?” Such was the attitude of big accounting firms, suborned by huge consulting contracts, that abetted Enron and other frauds a decade ago and has informed the more recent behavior of bond rating agencies suborned by lucrative commissions.

They knew prospective buyers, unaware that the agencies had been bought off by sellers, would rely on evaluations biased in favor of their deep-pocket customers.

Of the securities acts, the Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act, mail and wire fraud statutes, and state fraud laws surely some will apply. This isn’t much different than real estate appraisers who abet mortgage frauds by over-valuing properties in order to keep sellers’ business. Eliot Spitzer would have been at the courthouse by now.

New regulations aren’t enough because Wall Street can find a way around any rule by creating new frauds. That’s why, along with better regulations, frauds must be prosecuted to take the profit out of them. This is what President Obama must do if he truly wants to show he isn’t in Wall Street’s pocket.

If the Federal government won’t act, attorney General Cuomo should ask, “what would Eliot do?” Yes, the crooks in Brooks Brothers can hire expensive lawyers, but the State of New York has much to gain and will surely find good lawyers to fight for the people.

LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS AT PERFORMANCE NETWORK - DON'T MISS THIS!

Little Shop of Horrors at the Network is an absolute delight with great singing and acting, direction that is crisp, fluid, and precise but not rushed, and a great set that sets the tone and changes quickly. The mood of the show is comic at first yet the actors take the characters seriously which heightens both the drama and the comedy. This is probably a joint choice by director Carla Milarch and her actors and it works perfectly

Courtney Myer's first song "Somewhere That's Green" was an anthem of joy and wistful, dreaming, hopefulness. She told her story of faint hope with her lovely voice and her eyes. Naz Edwards looked like a plant and sang like a black man, an operatic soul singer, sort of Porgy and bitch. Her voice carried her anger and meanness to the last row and beyond. Jason Richards, who seems perfect for every character he plays, morphed into Seymour. His singing is excellent as always and nailed his character.

B.J. Love was a funny and bouncily youthful old man, a cross between Phil Silvers and Phil Foster.

Little Shop is a morality tale with some Don Giovanni, some Sweeney Todd, and some Mad Comics. I found myself laughing a lot and very loudly yet rising and falling with the fortunes of Audrey and Seymour. I hoped for them although I knew it was hopeless.

The staging of the plant’s carnivorous excess was genius. It happened quickly and believably.

Altogether, and much to my surprise, Little Shop was one of the best evenings I’ve had in theater for a long time.

Miss this and be very, very, sorry.

SEC SUES FINANCIER FOR IGNORING SIGNS OF MADOFF FRAUD

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The Times reports that the SEC filed a civil suit in June against the operator of a “feeder fund” to Bernie Madoff and the Justice Department is investigating the same setup for possible criminal violations. The basis asserted by the SEC and, presumably, the Justice Department, is that he “ . . . steered clients’ money to Mr. Madoff — and collected hundreds of millions of dollars in management fees — ‘despite having clear indications that Madoff was conducting a fraud.’ ”

It is tempting to put the last quotation in screaming purple italics. Is the SEC not the same organization that for over a decade ignored complaints about Mr. Madoff’s operations from knowledgable sources “. . . despite having clear indications that Madoff was conducting a fraud?” This gives us a new definition of chutzpah: in place of the old one, a child who murders his parents and pleads for mercy because he’s an orphan, we have a government watchdog suing an individual for not acting on evidence that the watchdog itself ignored the whole time

Surely the defendant will try to point this out to the jury, but the SEC’s lawyer, or the prosecutor, will object on the ground that following the example of a government agency is not a defense. Everyone involved in the SEC’s show trial will take it with a straight face. But I won’t. I’m laughing already.

This Bizzaro standard of responsibility advocated by the SEC is as ridiculous as Jeffrey Dahmer complaining that his victim's corpse assaulted him with its final twitch. If there is justice in the world we’ll see the feeder fund operator let off the hook and the entire SEC marched off in chains in an internationally televised perp walk. Of course, that won’t happen, but I’m still laughing.

CHRISTMAS CAROL'D at the Performance Network

Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol” is a stirring and beautiful story, about a bad guy who gratefully grabbed his last chance to reform and was redeemed. Dickens loved the secular aspects of Christmas and celebrated them in this story, but the master story teller knew it was the story that counted. Yet adaptations I’ve seen on the big and small screens and four on stage miss the mark in one way or another. Some are just treacly and play on the holiday season, and some are so bound-up in the text they turn this lovely tale into so many sticks of wood or get lost in details.

Tonight, I was treated to Joe Zettelmaier’s crack at the chestnut, “Christmas Carol’d” thoughtfully, even brilliantly, mounted at the Performance Network Theatre in Ann Arbor, and had a very happy surprise. Joe Z obviously understands Mr. Dickens’ book and knows how to dramatize it. The words are preserved for the most part, but the dramatic scenes are neatly intertwined with the narration, done by four excellent and well-cast actors who also play all the roles but Scrooge (B. J. Love, Terry Heck, Chelsea Sadler and Kevin Young). David Wolber’s direction keeps the story flowing so the two complement each other as they gracefully flow back and forth. What emerges is not an adapted book, but a play.

This jewel of a show sits on a luxurious cushion of Christmas Carols, artfully selected and beautifully sung – a cappella – by the four non-Scrooge actors.

None of this would be quite as moving or as enjoyable without John Seibert’s touching depth and sparkling wit as Scrooge. He nailed that part.

Monika Essen’s lovely and cleverly serviceable set and Dan Walker’s lights work hand in hand with Wolber’s direction to facilitate the action. And Ms. Essen’s costumes are pitch perfect.

I was entertained and moved. What more can you expect from an evening of theater?

DEPARTMENT OF CORRECTIONS

[From The N. Y. Times Magazine, May 3, 2009].

CORRECTION: An article in The Green Issue on April 19 about the science of decision making and the difficulty of getting into a “green mind-set'' misspelled, in one instance, the surname of an elder statesman of the field. He is Baruch Fischhoff, not Fischoff.

CORRECTION: An article on April 19 about Shai Agassi, an Israeli-American entrepreneur who is developing electric-car batteries, misspelled the model of a car his brother drove around Tel Aviv while being interviewed. It was the RenaultMégane, not Megone. The article also referred incorrectly to a report by a consulting firm about the cost of getting electric cars on the road. The figures of $49 million for developing cars and batteries and $21 billion for building charging networks referred to the creation of 17 million electric and low-carbon-dioxide-emitting cars for Europe, not 1.5 million electric cars for the United States, Europe and Japan. And the article misstated the percentage of total cars in the United States that President Obama's stimulus plan would actually put on the road; 600,000 cars is about one-quarter of 1 percent of the 251 mi11ion cars in the United States, not 2 percent.

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MEMO

From: Ed Sloan, managing editor
To: Harv Bernbaum, controller
Re: extensive corrections in this week's issue
--------------------------------------------------------------

Harv, Can you provide me with figures on the cost of 5 ½ column-inches of magazine space and the savings on laying off the fact checkers and proof readers? I’m a bit concerned that it might have been false economy to use our readership to catch errors.

Thanks for your help.

Ed

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MEMO

From: Harv Bernbaum, controller
To: Ed Sloan, managing editor
Re: Response to your recent memo
---------------------------------------------------------------

Ed, I’d like to help you here, but the accounting department is over-worked as it is, what with having laid off most of the staff.

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MEMO

From: Ed Sloan, managing editor
To: Harv Bernbaum, controller
Re: Staff layoffs

Harv, I’m sympathetic to the problem, but we really can’t afford the errors that keep turning up in our stories. A few days ago we actually published an utterly unbelievable story from one of our top reporters claiming that Joe Biden had made some damn fool statement about staying out of the way of swine flu. On the Today show no less. Pretty soon we’re going to look pretty foolish.

Ed
===============================================================

MEMO

From: Melissa Craig, assistant controller
To: Ed Sloan, managing editor
Re: Response to your recent memo

---------------------------------------------------------------

Mr. Sloan, I’m sorry to report that Mr. Bernbaum has been temporarily furloughed for an indefinite period as a cost-saving measure. I’m in charge now of the C.P.A. and the clerk who constitute what remains of the accounting department.

All the best,

Melissa Craig M.B.A., C.P.A.

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MEMO

From: Dell Model XPS 420 acting managing editor
To: Melissa Craig M.B.A., C.P.A.
Re: Staff layoffs
----------------------------------------------------------------

I have determined that this correspondence is economically counter-productive and will be terminated immediately.

LOL HAVE A NICE DAY! SEE YOU LATER ALLIGATOR!

FENCES AT THE PERFORMANCE NETWORK: A FIRST-CLASS PRODUCTION

When Troy Maxson (the excellent Lynch Travis) began talking about his past in Performance Network’s first-rate production of August Wilson’s Fences he pulled me firmly into his narrative and never let go. Fences is really two plays: a lesson in the black history of America, and a moving family drama. Maxson has a lot of personal baggage, enough to make a pretty good play on its own, and a lot of racial baggage, so his load is heavier than, say, Jamie Tyrone’s or Jack Jerome’s.

He coped by building an armor to protect him from himself, a suppression of urges and feelings that keeps him distant from his loved ones but frees him to live his life against the odds as his principles required. He loves his wife, his children, and his long-time friend Bono (the excellent James Bowen) but keeps his distance by insisting rigidly on his notions of a proper life.

Maxson found discipline late in life. In prison as a young man, he emerged a stiff-necked moralist and behaved as if the smallest defection from discipline would lead him to ruin. He gave his entire paycheck to his wife, carefully limited his drinking to precisely one pint of gin that he shared with Bono every payday, and demanded absolute obedience from his sons. Ironically, a single small defection finally did him in.

Maxson is a lot like my late father, who tried hard to get close to his sons but couldn’t quite get there. He gave himself to his job and helping with housework. I cried his funeral because it meant I had lost the opportunity to know the man who raised me. That was the story of many twentieth century fathers and sons, but Wilson’s masterly script tells you that Troy Maxson did his best for the best reasons. And, by his own lights, succeeded. He kept his balance on the log when the currents threatened. That took every ounce of his will and energy, but Lynch Travis’s nuanced performance gives us the unspoken vulnerability and ambivalence as well.

In the last scene Maxson’s mentally ill brother, Gabe (Michael Joseph, a very convincing and appealing psychotic), does a crazy dance of frustration, as if struggling to let out all the terrors he had kept to himself. It seemed to be a physical rendering of the emotional struggle that never let Troy Maxson relax.

When a play is as well-acted (all the performances were very good) and gracefully and briskly staged as this Fences you know you are in the presence of superior direction for which we have Tim Edward Rhoze to thank.

The set deserves its own paragraph. When you take your seat at Fences you find yourself in an urban neighborhood of the mid-twentieth century: there is the back corner of an apartment house bounded by two alleys, one of which separates it from a small single-family home. Both lead to the larger world of Pittsburgh. This set bears a startling resemblance to the Brooklyn apartment house in which I was I was raised and its environs. This marvel created by Monika Essen gives you an immediate sense of time and place before the actors show up. It is a spectacular recreation of the ordinary.

In all, this is the most engaging and affecting play I've seen this year, and maybe many others.

Last election day I worked fourteen hours in a polling place in Detroit. I was an invited guest at the party. I bathed in the rampant joy of election workers and voters. I wonder what Troy Maxson would have said if he were there. If he could have stood to miss a day off from work.